By His Grace

Hallelujah by Heather Williams

Did you know that Grace is mentioned in the Bible 170 times? 170 TIMES.

God told Paul, "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

We need the grace of God. You might be saying well, yes, of course we do. We need it first of all for salvation. Without the grace of God, we cannot have eternal life. However, we also need the grace of God for our daily walk with God. We are weak and prone to stray. We might not see it, especially when we are weak but God provides daily strength through His grace working in us.

Recently, I've been hurt. Broken down and at a place where I stood and questioned everything. Myself, my faith, my friends, and others that claim to walk with the Lord. I'm learning that I am being challenged in this struggle.

The Bible says in Luke 6:27-36: 27 But I say unto you which hear, Love our enemies, do good to them which hate you, 28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. 29 And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also. 30 Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again. 31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. 32 For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them. 33 And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same. 34 And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again. 35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. 36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.

Easier said that done right? I mean, when someone hurts us, we know that the Bible says to turn the other cheek, when others wrong you, in a way they have been wronged themselves by others, and they destroy your world in the process, it's hard to just say "oh okay, keep it coming." BUT, this is a way of life that will give you dignity, even when people above you beat you down. The arrogant ones above you will see radical, generous grace arise from the bottom. And when they see your love, they will be faced with a crisis. To return your love. Or, to continue to take advantage of you.

Remember, these few things, the next time you decide to treat others unlike you want them to treat you.

Your comfort comes at the cost of another person’s discomfort.
Your wealth comes from the hard work of those below you.
Your cheap goods come from those who have been paid unjust wages.

I Am Worthy

Beautiful by Mercy Me

After my post earlier today, I had a 45 minute conversation on the phone with my Mom (HI MOM) about condemnation.

From time to time I hear "you need to do something to get yourself back “right” with God." Sometimes it's from others and sometimes it's from me.

These nasty little lies cause you (and I) to feel self condemnation for not being “good enough” to maintain our intimacy with God. It keeps us from feeling like a good Christian. We are constantly analyzing our actions to make sure we are not “backsliding" and to make sure we are still moving closer to God instead of away from Him.

Romans 8:38-39: 38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Identifying with Christ is an item of faith for Christians. I Corinthians 1:30: But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption.

By God's doing we are in Christ. We might not understand, but we need to accept this as a declaration by God. When we feel self-condemned, or condemned by others, depressed, uneasy, like we are not "good enough” we must reassure ourselves of the FACTS.

Romans 8:1: There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Trust the facts, Trust GOD.

What Do You Know?

My Paper Heart by Francesca Battistelli

This might be a touchy post. But it's one that I feel that I shuold write. This is a blog about thoughts and opinions and my walk with the Lord. I call it like I see it.

From time to time, we come across people who we feel just don't know what it's like to be us. When I say us, I mean those of us that walked away from our faith a time or two and are now trying to get back to it. It's almost like hearing someone say "I don't want to go to that counselor because they have never experienced what I have so what do they know?"

I won't lie here, I do look at people that have lived a life of faith all ALL of their lives and think, "what do you know?" I mean, I've been married and divorced more than once. I've danced with the devil. I've traveled. I spent time in the military. I've seen death and despair. I've experienced life. Does that make me better or worse than someone else, no it doesn't. But to those that have never really left all that they have ever known to experience life outside of their faith and have always just "known" God and his graces, I think "what do you know?"

I mean sure, you can tell me about all of his grace and his blessings and why you think I should follow the Lord and you can even show me scriptures and tell me stories, but really "what do you know?" Do you know what it's like to not believe? Do you know what it's like to live without his grace? Are you more Christ like than I am because I stumbled?

These are true questions and concerns for many Christians who have stumbled along the way and find themselves faced with people who have never truly fallen down in their walk with Christ. The judgemental self righteous attitudes tend to push people away. It's hard to be told that you are wrong for having a glass of wine or going to a bar to watch a football game or watch movies or listen to music that might not be "Christianlike". Be cautious with those that are unsure.

Be on fire for Christ but don't burn others by making them stand too close to the flame before they are ready.

Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer. Romans 12:12

Today, My Heart Hurts

"That's What Faith Can Do" Kutless

To quote a few lyrics from the song linked above:

"Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining."

Psalm 34:18: The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

Today, I said goodbye to my husband. Even though we have been separated for a few months, him moving back to Florida and leaving where we had a life together, was a little hard to swallow. I have been dreading this day for as long as I've known about it. As I drove away and left him standing on the front steps of my house, I broke down and cried. Cried for what once was, I cried for the love lost, I cried for the friendship lost, I cried for the crushed hopes and dreams of a forever together. I cried. Today, my heart hurts.

Today, at 7:20 this morning, my best friend delivered her still born baby with the umbilical cord wrapped around its neck. On Monday, we found out that the baby had died. But since she was 18 1/2 weeks pregnant, she had to deliver. I am 3 1/2 hours away and will be driving to see her this evening after I leave work. Today, my heart hurts.

Psalm 34:18: The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

I don't have anything profound to say or share today. For today, my heart hurts. Sure there are stories in the Bible about overcoming hurt and pain and weakness but I can't find one that really makes me want to say "this one, this one right here, this is it." So, I am going to share a few scriptures. I'm a big fan of the KJV of the Bible. I like to read the scripture the way that it was first taught to me. The following remind me that, "That's what faith can do" just like the song says.

• Matthew 17:20: And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

• Psalm 27:14: Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

• Luke 18:27: And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.

• Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

• Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

• Deuteronomy 31:6: Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

• Matthew 5:4: Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

• Philippians 4:19: But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

• Isaiah 40:31: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

• Matthew 11:28-30: 28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

REMEMBER:

"Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining."

I Want A Heart That Forgives

Kevin LeVar - "A Heart That Forgives"

Just a few lyrics from the song linked above:

I want a heart that forgives
A heart full of love
One with compassion just like Yours above
One that overcomes evil with goodness and love
Like it never happened, never holding a grudge
I want a heart that forgives that lives and lets live
One that keeps loving over and over again
One that men can’t offend
Because Your Word is within
One that loves without price, like You Lord Jesus Christ
I want a heart that loves everybody....even my enemies
I want to love like You, be like You, just like You did
I want a heart that forgives.

DEEP BREATH. Wiping the tears. I know that there are readers who are in different places in there life and in their relationship with the Lord. Most of us DO NOT know how to just FORGIVE. We don't know how to lay down our burdens on the altar and just say "I forgive."

For the most part forgiveness does not start right away. The not-wanting-to-forgive is keeping us from moving on, and having a closer relationship with God. But we cannot lie to ourselves. Or to God. We cannot say "I forgive or I give it all to you" when we really don't mean it.

Excerpts from Women Who Run With Wolves by Clarissas Pinkola Estes. From the chapter Marking Territory: The Boundaries of Rage and Forgiveness Four Stages of Forgiveness

1. to forego---to leave it alone
2. to forebear---to abstain from punishing
3. to forget---to aver from memory, to refuse to dwell
4. to forgive---to abandon the debt

To forego: To take a break from thinking about the person or the event for a while. It is not leaving something undone, but rather more like taking a vacation from it. This prevents us from being exhausted, allows us to strengthen in other ways, to have other happiness in our lives.
To forebear: This builds focus toward the time when one goes to the next steps. It does not mean to go blind or dead and lose self-protective vigilance. It means to give a bit of grace to the situation and see how that assists.

To forget: To let go, to loosen one's hold, particularly on memory. To forget does not mean to make yourself brain dead. Conscious forgetting means letting go of the event, to not insist it stay in the foreground, but rather allow it to be relegated to the background. To move off stage.
We practice conscious forgetting by refusing to summon up fiery materials, we refuse to recollect. It means not to haul up certain materials and turn them over rand over again. Conscious forgetting means willfully dropping the practice of obsessing, intentionally outdistancing and losing sight of it. This kind of forgetting does not erase memory, it lays the emotion surrounding the memory to rest.

To Forgive: There are many ways and portions to forgiving a person, a community, a nation for an offense. It is important to remember that a "final" forgiveness is not surrendor. It is a conscious decision to cease to harbor resentment, which includes forgiving a debt and giving up one's resolve to retaliate. You are the one that decides when to forgive and what ritual to use to mark the event. You decide what debt you will now say needs not be paid further.

Some choose blanket pardon: releasing a person from any restitituion now or ever. Others choose to call a halt to redress in process, abandoning the debt, saying whatever is done is done, and the payback is now enough. Another kind of pardon is to release a person without his having made any emotional or other sort of restititution.

Forgiveness is the culmination of all foregoing, forebearing and forgetting. It does not mean giving up ones' protection, but one's coldness. Forgiveness is an act of creation.

Luke 17:3-4 (King James Version) 3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. 4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

I want a heart that forgives. How about you?

On My Knees

Today's video/song is one of my all time favorites. It truly has been a storm of trials and tribulations these last few months. I've found myself on my knees quite a few times.

Yesterday proved to be quite a challenging day. It was my birthday. And it didn't feel like much of one. My heart hurts. Seems yesterday was a day for weeping. I sat at my desk weeping. I wept all the way home from work and then once I was sitting on my couch, I wept some more. I listened to the the song I posted yesterday and let the Lord just hold me.

I almost made quite a few poor choices yesterday. The good news is that I took the opportunity to choose wisely and consulted the Lord first and begin with the end in mind. This moment of decision making got me to thinking about the story of Abraham and Lot from the old testament.

What do Lot, the thief on the cross, and a thief on the news have in common? They're all people? Who knows? Who cares? Those may be a few of your answers.

Well, let's check. At first glance, it may seem that this trio has nothing in common. But if you really think about it, you'll find that they all have something in common: the thread of consequences. You're probably like, "AND? The point is?" Well, the point is, you'll find that same thread in your own life.

Here's the moral of this story. I'm going to give it to you right here at the beginning. Pay very careful attention to it though, because this simple lesson could save you a lifetime of heartache. The lesson is:
You are free to choose what decisions you will make, but you are not free to choose the consequences that come with those choices. Think back to the Old Testament story of Abraham and Lot. You will read in Genesis 13 that Abraham and Lot were traveling together. They weren't traveling alone either. They had their families, servants, every little thing they owned, and a whole bunch of livestock. When they finally found a good stopping point, they discovered the land was not big enough "for the two of them", their families, animals, & possessions. So while they're looking at these two pieces of land, Abraham told Lot to choose which one he'd like to have. Abraham didn't want to fight or argue and was okay with taking the plot of land Lot didn't choose.

So Lot really looked over his choices. All he could see was the physical beauty of the Jordan Valley, which contained the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. Without much thought, Lot quickly selected that land as his home. His troubles began right away. God felt compelled to take drastic action to wipe them from the earth completely. Lot and his wife had to run for their lives (literally).

Lot's wife, in her final act of disobedience, looked back to the sinful city (that she had grown so accustomed to) and was turned into a pillar of salt. Lot's choice to live in that land had certainly come with a price.

So what does all that mean to you? What does that Old Testament Bible story have to say about your life and the way you choose to live it? Was Lot really such a bad guy? Was he any worse than any of us? Those are all good questions, and there really aren't all that many easy answers.
In 2 Peter 2:7, Scripture describes Lot as righteous. Yet Lot had a knack for making poor choices. As a result, he suffered terrible consequences. He lost his daughters, his home, and even his wife. These losses were a direct result of his poor choices.

So can we choose our consequences? In a roundabout way, yes, we can! We choose them by the dozens of other choices we make each day. The Bible is full of stories of people who did things the right way and experienced positive consequences. Abraham, Noah, Joseph, Daniel, Ruth, and Rahab are just a few. The Bible is also filled with those who did not make wise choices and suffered terrible consequences as a result. It's great to know God will forgive us when we fail, but it's better to get His help first and make the wise choice from the start.

Words for the heart.

Lamentations 3:19-26
19 I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.
20 I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. 21 Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: 22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” 25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; 26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

This Is What It's Like

On Friday night, I went to dinner with some great friends (Hi Teresa and Vera). When I arrived at Teresa's apartment, the song that was playing is the one that I linked above. Held by Natalie Grant. I've been singing since I was a little kid. I can remember singing in church, at camp meetings, on the side of the road by the Salvation Army for street meetings, and pretty much anywhere I could. Lately, I have been feeling a strong pull to find a praise and worship team to join and get back to sharing my gift of God with others. In the meantime, I will share my love of music and the songs I find that express how I feel.

I went to church yesterday morning. Yes, it was the first time I've have been in a few weeks. I was letting life get in the way of my attendance. I struggled with rushing home and getting ready and making it to the service on time, and each time I told myself, "you are going to be late", I kept hearing "better late than not at all". One of the first songs that the praise and worship team sang had the exact words that I posted about on Friday. MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR MY POWER IS PERFECT IN WEAKNESS. Well then. I hear you God.

Today is my birthday. I am 37 years young. By this time, birthdays aren't quite the celebrations that they used to be. 37 is just an age. Not really a milestone. Just another year older. These days, life tends to be less about days and more about about dates and their significance or lack thereof.

This morning, I was thinking a little bit about the date of December 6th, 2010. That date isn't significant to any of you , but it is to me. December 6th is the day that my friend and ex Mother-In-Law told me that she had Breast Cancer. Moments later, sitting in a restaurant/bar at a bartop table for poker night, in the very restaurant that I met my husband at, playing poker, I would hear a few more words that would stop my life as I knew it. All I could think was "is this some kind of joke?" No. No, it wasn't. It's no secret to those that know me that these last few months since that date have been a struggle for me. Somedays I feel like December 6th is a lifetime ago. Other days, I feel like it was just yesterday. And I find myself sitting at that table, hearing those words all over again. Nahum 1:7 says "The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that in him." I've been in the Lord's strong hold for a few months now.

Yesterday at church, I felt his right hand. I felt him holding me. I felt him telling me that he was holding me. And for me to just let him hold me. To just be in his presence. ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10.

In the words of Natalie Grant as she sings the song linked above.

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow
This is what it means to be held

When was the last time you let God hold you? Do you remember what it's like to be held?