“Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God's grace. And your best days are never so good that you're beyond the need of God's grace.”
Listen to "Breathe" by Michael W. Smith. The praise and worship team sang this song before Bible study last night. There is something about just standing in the presence of God and his people in his house singing the following words.
"this is the air I breathe
this is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me
this is my daily bread
this is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me
And I, I'm desperate for you
And I, I'm lost without you."
Today has been a long day. I woke up tired. I didn't sleep well last night and I woke up feeling empty and lonely. I was running late and I've been swamped with work all day long. One thing after another. I've stopepd a few times and taken deep breaths just to remain calm enough to make it through. Just when you think that you might be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel you step back a little into the darkness and your chest hurts and you cry out.
I'm desperate for you, I'm lost without you.
I read these verses last night as I was sitting down with my Bible just searching for his word to comfort me. Psalm 119:169-176: 169 Let my cry come near before thee, O LORD: give me understanding according to thy word. 170 Let my supplication come before thee: deliver me according to thy word. 171 My lips shall utter praise, when thou hast taught me thy statutes. 172 My tongue shall speak of thy word: for all thy commandments are righteousness. 173 Let thine hand help me; for I have chosen thy precepts. 174 I have longed for thy salvation, O LORD; and thy law is my delight. 175 Let my soul live, and it shall praise thee; and let thy judgments help me. 176 I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy servant; for I do not forget thy commandments."
I'm desperate for you, I'm lost without you.
Be honest here, are you desperate for anything? And in your desperation of anything, are you desperate for God? Have you filled your heart and mind up with junk that keeps you from being desperate enough for God? Can you close your eyes and pray and say to him, I'm desperate for you, I'm lost without you?
Ephesians 1:18-20: 18 The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, 19 And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power.
Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I've been trying to find my way,
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without You
I've got nothing without You.
Each morning as I fight to get out of bed I try to stop and look around and thank God for everything I have. Sure, I might be a little heartbroken right now, but I am blessed. There is a little saying that says "Too blessed to be stressed, too annointed to be disappointed." Say it. Next time you are feeling overwhelmed say those words.
I've lived a pretty interesting life so far in my (clearing throat) 37 years. I've worked hard to get where I am today. Yes, I did a lot of it without living a life of faith. I've always believed. I once followed close. I also at once time didn't follow at all. But here I am, finding my way. I'm ready for a revelation.
I have a college education that I earned while going to school full time and working full time.
I have an amazing home, not just a house, but a home. And it is in my name only. I'm not renting, I'm buying.
I have an amazing career (not just a job) but a career that I love and that makes me proud when I see the results of what we do.
I have an amazing Mother (HI MOM) who is a woman of faith, that loves me and supports me through it all even though she lives 900+ miles away.
I could go on and on about the things that I have. But, I would have nothing without God.
"Open thou my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of Thy law." Psalms 119:18. The song linked above says GIVE ME A REVELATION. We know that a Revelation can be historical or scriptural or both. But... a revelation can also be personal. God's revealing activities are redemptive. They have a purpose, just like everything he does. God give revelations to people so that he might bring them back to him. So that he can be in our hearts and our minds. "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled." Matthew 5:6.
Revelation 3:20 "Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me." Are you listening? Can you hear him knocking?
I'm hungry and I'm thirsty. Are you? Are you ready for your revelation?
Do you hear God's voice? Would you know it if you heard it? Are you hearing your own voice in the place of God's? Hoping and praying that the prayers you are praying are answered the way you want them to be answered. In order to truly hear God's voice, we must be ready to listen to God's voice. It's possible you're hearing Him already, for He may be the one giving you the longing to hear Him.
Hebrews 4:12 says "For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."
Open your own mouth and talk, God loves to hear us talk to Him, and he is ready, willing and able to speak to us. In conversation, we often speak to the other person, then listen for a response. Once we've prepared our hearts to listen through prayer, it's the same with God. Now, remember that we may not actually "hear" the voice of God like we would the neighbor speak in a conversation, but He speaks to us in many ways. Through his word, through our thoughts, through conversations with others, through circumstances and the list goes on and on. Keep listening.
Are you not hearing anything? Is everything silent? Let His silence remind you that even when you can’t sense His presence that His silence has a redemptive purpose in your life. He is always there for you. Are you listening?
I've recently been trying to find my freedom. I need to break free of anything that’s holding me in bondage. As I slowly become more and more free, I find it easier to hear from God. I refuse to listen to voices that defeat me. I'm giving up my own efforts to run my life and trusting God. Ask God to help you learn to wait, rest, and be content, so you’ll be able to surrender and hear his voice. Keep listening.
I'm learning that often times, God only reveals part of the full message when he speaks. He knows what to say, and when to say it. You might think you are ready to hear everything RIGHT NOW, but he knows that you’re not ready to hear everything. Trust in God to tell you the rest when the time is right. Choose to trust God even when you don’t understand what He’s doing. Whenever He leads you to join Him in His work, decide to obey, and He will keep leading you. Keep listening.
Psalm 73:26 says, My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.
Has anyone ever felt like their heartache would last a lifetime? Where you just can't see yourself on the other side of the pain and the hurt? RAISING HAND. Hello. Broken, party of one.
I write a lot about Let Go and Let God, there being a Light At The End of the Tunnel, and lastly about Being Still, but we all know at the end of the day, it's down right hard to just stop hurting. To stop letting your mind race and wander, where you can let go, to where you can be still and see that light at the end of the tunnel. Isaiah 58:9a says, "Then shalt thou call, and the LORD shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am..."
The chorus of the song I linked above says:
When you feel like you're alone in your sadness
It seems like no one else in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness
You just call My name and I'll be there
You just call My name and I'll be there.
Sometimes, I find myself praying for the very same thing that I am asking God to deliver me from. I don't mean to harp on my divorce but yesterday and today, I had/have to see my husband. He now lives in another state and the first time he left a few weeks ago to move there, I knew that I had to finally sit myself down and tell myself that all of the stupid holding on and wishing and hoping was just the desparate actions of a weak hearted and weak minded person. I've known since he left that he would be in town this week and I've dreaded it. I know that when he leaves today, he will truly be gone forever. The hopes and dreams of the last 4.5 years. Gone.
My heart has been so confused. It wants him to hold me and reassure me and tell me that this has all been some kind of nightmare. I pray for it. I pray that God will bring him back. That God will show him. But in the same breath, I am praying that God will unbreak my heart. That he will deliver me from the pain, hurt, anger, resentment and borderline hatred for man and in my case, the other woman. I struggle with saying "Lord I know that if it is your will you will show me your way." But what happens if God says "okay, I'm bringing your husband back." Can I really be with a man that told me "I never loved you" or that emotionally had an affair with another woman for an entire month before he actually left our home in hopes of living a new life with her? I wrote a few weeks ago about how I Want A Heart That Forgives, I want an unconfused heart. I want to let go. I want to forgive. I want to not hurt. I want to not weep for things of the past. I want to not feel broken into a thousand pieces.
I am a work in progress. We all struggle. We all stand in awe when we see someone with the light of Jesus in them when we just aren't quite feeling together. I have to give myself pep talks sometimes every moment of every day. Next time you are feeling down, tell yourself this. God would not suffer his people to be tempted, if his grace were not sufficient, not only to save them from harm, but to make them gainers by it. This temptation, the working of envy and discontent, is very painful. But my God reigns. He is an awesome God. I might have to say this to myself 10 times a day to remember that this won't go on forever.
I'm going to stray away from my beloved King James Bible and share a few passages from the New International Version of the Bible. 2 Corinthians 4:7-12: 7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18: 16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
I found this paragraph below written in a few places on the internet. I have no actual idea whose original words they are so I will not credit anyone with them. But know that they aren't mine (just in case).
Let God's truth refocus your eyes today on the treasure that dwells within you. This treasure can fill the emptiest of vessels; after all, a jar is designed to hold something. That treasure is God himself, living within us, bringing his abundant life. In our own humanity we have no sense of wealth or worth, no value in this jar of clay. We are simply an empty jar. But when this humanity is filled with diety, we receive what we were created to hold, the very life of God. He is our treasure.
Do you remember when you were little and your Mom or Dad told you to "sit still?" As kids we were always on the go. Moving, talking, playing, just being all over the place. We could never sit still and just listen. These days, kids have DVD players in cars and so many shows and video games and whatever else to keep them "still".
As adults, what do we have to keep up still? And even when we are still, are our minds still? I know that my mind races a thousand miles a minute. From the time I wake up until the time I go to sleep, I am thinking about what time it is, to when I will get to work, what I have to do at work that day, what is happening after work, what bills need to be paid, how the house needs to be cleaned or laundry needs to be done, how empty my house feels, etc, etc. Psalm 46:10 says "Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth."
God commands a spiritual calm in spite of the shaking mountains and waters. As we all know, a spiritual calm does not come from a lack of trials and tribulations, we find it when we become steady, and we reflect on the ways God has intervened in our lives.
Just a few short months ago when my world crumbled around me, I flinched. My faith flinched. Now, I am trying to stand still — not because of the self-made confidence that everyone seems to think I have, not because I am so strong in the face of disaster, and not because I have always been able to get up and brush myself off and keep going, but because of what I know about God. Romans 15:4 says "For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope."
Exodus 14:13a says "And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will shew to you today..." Know that he is God!
Somedays, I throw my hands up in the air and say "I give up", "How did I get here?" I'm tired of trying to make sense of things. I feel like I'm stuck in a cruel game of pinball, constantly being slapped around by little flippers that someone else is controlling. Heartache is never easy. Divorce is hurtful and forces us to look at everything is a different way. The loneliness that follows is God's way, first, of drawing us closer to him, then forcing us to reach out to other people. Proverbs 3:4-5: "4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man. 5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."
When we are hurting, we feel the need to pour our heart out. The burden of being so disappointed becomes too hard to bear. Too many disapointments == discouragement = despair. God doesn’t want this for us. In his grace, God asks us to take our heartaches to him. John 14:27 says "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
Have a conversation with God. Feel his presence. He will reassure you. God is living amongst us through the Holy Spirit. STOP with the bad appraisal of youself and replace it with God's, which he expresses with love, forgiveness, and acceptance. God listens. He'd rather have us empty our heart to him than keep that bitterness inside. He is not offended by our discontent. Take a look at the cross. That's how important we are to him.
Psalm 84:11-12: 11 For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. 12 O Lord of Heaven's Armies, what joy for those who trust in you.
"I couldn't seem to fall asleep
There was so much on my mind
Searching for that peace
But the peace I could not find
So then I knealed down to pray
Praying help me please
Then He said you don't have to cry
Cause I'll supply all your needs."
I can't tell you how many times in a day I say to myself "Let Go and Let God." More often than not, I am counting to 10 or backwards to 0 to calm myself down, while taking deep breaths and saying "Let Go and Let God." Yesterday, I followed it up with "hey Devil, you're not getting me today."
Philippians 4:6-7: 6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
This verse just includes it all doesn't it? Do not worry about ANYTHING. Bring everything to the Lord in prayer. Your broken hearts, your bills, your health, your job, your family, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. Trust in him and be and confident in him then LET GO and LET GOD.
Many of us pray and pray and pray to God for a variety of things. And then we sit back and still worry about what we prayed about. "Oh when will this pain go away?" "Will I Have enough money to pay my bills this month?" "What if?" What? What? What? You can't pray to God and then just not believe that he will do what he says he will do. Don’t be anxious about anything! LET GO AND LET GOD!
I've heard people say, "When you get to the end of your rope then tie a knot in it and hang on." But this is not what we should do. We can't keep hanging on. We mus let go and let God have his way in our life. When we turn to the Lord and allow Him to minister to us, to show us His grace and to comfort us in the time of trials, then we can see that He is working all things out for our good and for His glory.
Matthew 11:28 says "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." When we let go and and let God have His way our pain and suffering will begin to be healed.
Recently, I feel like I've had a black cloud following me around. In December, my Mother-In-Law was diagnosed with breast cancer, one of my dogs got hurt, my husband left me and shattered my world and I ended 2010 crying on a daily basis and trying to find the strength to just understand WHY? The months that followed have been just one thing after another. I was diagnosed with a very early stage of Cervical Cancer, I wrecked my car, my best friend lost her baby, my car got towed and on and on and on.
I will tell you that the trials have brought me closer to myself and closer to God. I do not understand them AT ALL, but I've been asking myself this question, 'What does the Bible say about that'?" And I'm finding that the Bible has the answer to all my troubles, trials, tribulations, and testings. It has the all the answers I need. God is working everything out according to His will for my life. THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS WITH GOD!
We do not know what the future holds but God knows what will come to pass and He knows the way through the wilderness. Psalm 30:2-8 says: 2 LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me. 3 LORD, thou hast brought up my soul from the grave: thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit. 4 Sing unto the LORD, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness. 5 For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. 6 And in my prosperity I said, I shall never be moved. I SHALL NOT BE MOVED.
God does not allow trials in our life to see what we would do, but so we can see what we will do during that test. I'm still struggling and I still have doubts and concerns and I still have trouble really letting go and letting God but I am working on it. I'm turning to God in my trials so that I will know God's grace and it will be sufficient for any trial or trouble that I am going through.
