Somedays, I throw my hands up in the air and say "I give up", "How did I get here?" I'm tired of trying to make sense of things. I feel like I'm stuck in a cruel game of pinball, constantly being slapped around by little flippers that someone else is controlling. Heartache is never easy. Divorce is hurtful and forces us to look at everything is a different way. The loneliness that follows is God's way, first, of drawing us closer to him, then forcing us to reach out to other people. Proverbs 3:4-5: "4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man. 5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."
When we are hurting, we feel the need to pour our heart out. The burden of being so disappointed becomes too hard to bear. Too many disapointments == discouragement = despair. God doesn’t want this for us. In his grace, God asks us to take our heartaches to him. John 14:27 says "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."
Have a conversation with God. Feel his presence. He will reassure you. God is living amongst us through the Holy Spirit. STOP with the bad appraisal of youself and replace it with God's, which he expresses with love, forgiveness, and acceptance. God listens. He'd rather have us empty our heart to him than keep that bitterness inside. He is not offended by our discontent. Take a look at the cross. That's how important we are to him.
Psalm 84:11-12: 11 For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. 12 O Lord of Heaven's Armies, what joy for those who trust in you.
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