When The Music Speaks

Sometimes it just takes a simple song to bring you to your knees and remind you just how great he is.

Today, if you are feeling a little out of the reach of Gods arms, listen to this song and be reminded just how great he is.

Embrace It

I haven't written in awhile. I apologize for the neglect of this blog.

I am not going to write now either. But, I am going to share someone else's words.

I am not a complete fan of Joyce Meyer but this article proved to be pretty powerful.

I hope it touches you like it did me.

By His Grace



How to Embrace God’s Forgiveness
by Joyce Meyer

Do you serve God or your feelings?

Now, that may sound like an odd question for a believer, but really, it isn't. Let me put it this way... When you ask God to forgive you, do you accept His forgiveness right away or do you waste time feeling guilty?

So many Christians struggle with guilt and condemnation. They're trying to pay God back for what they did wrong when Jesus already made it right.

God's unconditional love is a very difficult concept for people to accept because, in the world, there's always payment for everything we receive. It's just how things work here. But God is not like people!

Aren't you glad about that?

We need to learn that whether or not we feel forgiven, we're forgiven.

Feelings of guilt and condemnation are a huge problem in the Church, but I want you to understand that’s what they are—feelings.

If you really know God's Word, no matter how you feel, you can speak scriptures over your life and pretty soon your feelings have lost their authority.

For instance, 1 John 1:9 says that if we repent and confess our sins, God is faithful to forgive us. You need to take hold of that.

The next time you ask God to forgive you and then feel guilty afterward, open your mouth and say, "God forgave me." Quote 1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness", or use another scripture but say it out loud. There is power in the tongue!

Praying and declaring Scripture out loud not only helps to renew your mind, it helps you stand firm, and it certainly puts the devil in his place.

The devil will try to make us feel guilty even when we didn't do anything wrong. So we need to confess our sins until everything is out in the open and told, and then get dressed in our spiritual armor so we can firmly stand our ground.

When it comes right down to it, we just want to be loved unconditionally and accepted for who we are. We don't want to have to pretend or perform. We just want to be accepted and loved. And God offers that to every single one of us.


None of us can earn God's love. But in order to receive God's love we need to first believe that He loves us.

If you have trouble believing God in this area, don't just put up with it and wish that you felt better. Study the love of God. Read books about it. Listen to teachings on love. Start talking about it.

Say, "If anybody can have God's love, I'm going to have it. If anybody can be free, I'm going to be free. If anybody can be happy, I'm going to be happy. If anyone can have peace, it's going to be me. If anybody can be used by God, I can be used by God. If anyone can get over their broken past, I will."

Don't give in to your emotions—minister to them. Manage them. Remember that every day you're in Christ, you're a new person.

Another area Christians struggle with is believing God has great plans for their life. Don't trust your feelings on that either. Trust God's Word.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.

We can all have the future God has planned for us if we choose to go after it—if we choose to grow and develop a deep relationship with God.

Yes, it's painful to grow. It's not easy to say no to yourself and yes to God. But every time you deny your flesh, it gets a little weaker and you get the victory.

People who are really strong, serious Christians are going after the meat of the Word. They listen to teachings on pride. They want to be humble, patient and victorious in Christ, and they train themselves to learn right from wrong.

I'm here to tell you that if you know who you are in Christ and you choose to grow, you will have a lot less trouble fighting guilt and condemnation. As a matter of fact, you will love God and the people He uses to correct you because they're helping you change and grow.

I don't want you to wake up every day and just live your life based on how you feel. I want you to know that God loves you no matter what and that you don't have to let feelings dictate the course of your life.

I believe you will see a transition if you pray and ask God, "Do what you want to do in my life. I'm Yours."

I dare you.

I'm Still Standing

Kevin LeVar - "A Heart That Forgives"

I've used this song before, but it's one that I can listen to everyday and still say the same thing "I want a heart that forgives."

It's been a little over a month since I've written a post here on my blog. What can I say? I didn't have anything to write about? I don't have anything to say? All of those words seem empty in comparison to what God has done for me.

It has been seven months since my husband and I separated, and now I find myself faced with the reality that he wants to work on our marriage. I know that everyone has their own opinion on marriage and divorce and what to do and what not to do. I do know that after the years we spent together and the hurt he caused when he left that I do not have it in me, even with God to allow him to be a part of my life in that manner ever again. I'm happy that he has decided to finally get back to a place with God that he remembers his love and knows that life is better with him by your side. I know that with God in his life, he will grow and propser and become the man that he has always wanted to be. I'm still working on my forgiveness. I know that I am leaps and bounds ahead of what I was a few months ago, but still not anywhere near where I need to be to say "I've forgiven you." My forgiveness is not to welcome him back in to my home or my life. My forgiveness is to let go.

2 Chronicles 20:17 (NIV) reads "You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.'"

I've taken up my position and I"m standing firm.

Where Have You Been?

As I've been struggling with the pain of life and striving to find my patience. Of course, I've tripped and stumbled along the way thinking that I know better or that this has to be right, it's happening. I have from time to time asked God where He might be. As we all know, that is a really foolish question. The answer is going to be something like this, "What do you mean where am I? I've been here all along. Where have you been?"

"Where I have been?" I've been busy letting the world take care of me. I've been busy being scared of the future and trying to find places in my life for people that really shouldn't be there. Making new friends with people that are only doing harm to my life and my faith. I haven't been making time for God during this time. It only takes a moment to pray and to talk with God. But have I been doing that? No! I was too busy wondering, planning, and over thinking everything. And too busy being afraid of his answers.

I've believed in God just about my entire life. He has guided me through so many things. Even when I was too blind to see it was him. Again my agenda has gotten in the way of His agenda, His guidance, and His blessing.

The Bible says in Deuteronomy 31:8 "The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." HELLO, SELF. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU.

The next time you ask God, "Where are you?" What you should be asking yourself is, "Where am I?" You know where God is going to be. Where are you going to be?

Stumbling Around

"Lord, Don't Move My Mountain" by Inez Andrews

You can come to God's house, raise your hands, worship him loudly, and yet still have a stumbling block of iniquity in your heart.

The Bible teaches that there is a real devil, Satan, who is our enemy. Satan's objective is to pollute all the good that God has brought about in your life by causing you to stumble and fall back into sin. But the Bible says, "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." James 4:7

My stumbling blocks are evil enticements that rob me of a steadfast walk with God. It is any besetting sin that causes me to waver in my faith, any desire that brings shame to my heart and to the name of Christ, any secret thing that excites me, gives me false hope, any sin that I cling to as I seek out the Lords guidance.

"Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything." (James 1:2-4)

If someone were to tell you that as a Christian your life will be problem-free, they wouldn't be telling you the whole story. God wants us to grow in our walk with Him more and more so. One way He causes us to grow is by taking us through difficult situations. Even though they're not fun, it's during the difficult times that we are more likely to listen to the Lord than when we are perfectly content and comfortable.

Are you still stumbling around? I know that I am.

As the song I have linked today says:

"But Oh Jesus, you don't have to move the mountain
But give me the strength to climb
And Lord, don't take away my stumbling blocks
But lead me all around."

He Is The Air I Breathe

MICHAEL W. SMITH - "BREATHE"

Listen to "Breathe" by Michael W. Smith. The praise and worship team sang this song before Bible study last night. There is something about just standing in the presence of God and his people in his house singing the following words.

"this is the air I breathe
this is the air I breathe
Your holy presence living in me

this is my daily bread
this is my daily bread
Your very word spoken to me

And I, I'm desperate for you
And I, I'm lost without you."

Today has been a long day. I woke up tired. I didn't sleep well last night and I woke up feeling empty and lonely. I was running late and I've been swamped with work all day long. One thing after another. I've stopepd a few times and taken deep breaths just to remain calm enough to make it through. Just when you think that you might be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel you step back a little into the darkness and your chest hurts and you cry out.

I'm desperate for you, I'm lost without you.

I read these verses last night as I was sitting down with my Bible just searching for his word to comfort me. Psalm 119:169-176: 169 Let my cry come near before thee, O LORD: give me understanding according to thy word. 170 Let my supplication come before thee: deliver me according to thy word. 171 My lips shall utter praise, when thou hast taught me thy statutes. 172 My tongue shall speak of thy word: for all thy commandments are righteousness. 173 Let thine hand help me; for I have chosen thy precepts. 174 I have longed for thy salvation, O LORD; and thy law is my delight. 175 Let my soul live, and it shall praise thee; and let thy judgments help me. 176 I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek thy servant; for I do not forget thy commandments."

I'm desperate for you, I'm lost without you.

Be honest here, are you desperate for anything? And in your desperation of anything, are you desperate for God? Have you filled your heart and mind up with junk that keeps you from being desperate enough for God? Can you close your eyes and pray and say to him, I'm desperate for you, I'm lost without you?

Ephesians 1:18-20: 18 The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, 19 And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power.

Is he the air that you breathe?

I'm Ready

Third Day "Revelation"

Chorus:

Give me a revelation,
Show me what to do
Cause I've been trying to find my way,
I haven't got a clue
Tell me should I stay here,
Or do I need to move
Give me a revelation
I've got nothing without You
I've got nothing without You.

Each morning as I fight to get out of bed I try to stop and look around and thank God for everything I have. Sure, I might be a little heartbroken right now, but I am blessed. There is a little saying that says "Too blessed to be stressed, too annointed to be disappointed." Say it. Next time you are feeling overwhelmed say those words.

I've lived a pretty interesting life so far in my (clearing throat) 37 years. I've worked hard to get where I am today. Yes, I did a lot of it without living a life of faith. I've always believed. I once followed close. I also at once time didn't follow at all. But here I am, finding my way. I'm ready for a revelation.

I have a college education that I earned while going to school full time and working full time.

I have an amazing home, not just a house, but a home. And it is in my name only. I'm not renting, I'm buying.

I have an amazing career (not just a job) but a career that I love and that makes me proud when I see the results of what we do.

I have an amazing Mother (HI MOM) who is a woman of faith, that loves me and supports me through it all even though she lives 900+ miles away.

I could go on and on about the things that I have. But, I would have nothing without God.

"Open thou my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of Thy law." Psalms 119:18. The song linked above says GIVE ME A REVELATION. We know that a Revelation can be historical or scriptural or both. But... a revelation can also be personal. God's revealing activities are redemptive. They have a purpose, just like everything he does. God give revelations to people so that he might bring them back to him. So that he can be in our hearts and our minds. "Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled." Matthew 5:6.

Revelation 3:20 "Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me." Are you listening? Can you hear him knocking?

I'm hungry and I'm thirsty. Are you? Are you ready for your revelation?

Do You Hear What I Hear?

MercyMe "Word of God Speak"

Do you hear God's voice? Would you know it if you heard it? Are you hearing your own voice in the place of God's? Hoping and praying that the prayers you are praying are answered the way you want them to be answered. In order to truly hear God's voice, we must be ready to listen to God's voice. It's possible you're hearing Him already, for He may be the one giving you the longing to hear Him.

Hebrews 4:12 says "For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."

Open your own mouth and talk, God loves to hear us talk to Him, and he is ready, willing and able to speak to us. In conversation, we often speak to the other person, then listen for a response. Once we've prepared our hearts to listen through prayer, it's the same with God. Now, remember that we may not actually "hear" the voice of God like we would the neighbor speak in a conversation, but He speaks to us in many ways. Through his word, through our thoughts, through conversations with others, through circumstances and the list goes on and on. Keep listening.

Are you not hearing anything? Is everything silent? Let His silence remind you that even when you can’t sense His presence that His silence has a redemptive purpose in your life. He is always there for you. Are you listening?

I've recently been trying to find my freedom. I need to break free of anything that’s holding me in bondage. As I slowly become more and more free, I find it easier to hear from God. I refuse to listen to voices that defeat me. I'm giving up my own efforts to run my life and trusting God. Ask God to help you learn to wait, rest, and be content, so you’ll be able to surrender and hear his voice. Keep listening.

I'm learning that often times, God only reveals part of the full message when he speaks. He knows what to say, and when to say it. You might think you are ready to hear everything RIGHT NOW, but he knows that you’re not ready to hear everything. Trust in God to tell you the rest when the time is right. Choose to trust God even when you don’t understand what He’s doing. Whenever He leads you to join Him in His work, decide to obey, and He will keep leading you. Keep listening.

A Confused Heart

Third Day "Call My Name"

Psalm 73:26 says, My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.

Has anyone ever felt like their heartache would last a lifetime? Where you just can't see yourself on the other side of the pain and the hurt? RAISING HAND. Hello. Broken, party of one.

I write a lot about Let Go and Let God, there being a Light At The End of the Tunnel, and lastly about Being Still, but we all know at the end of the day, it's down right hard to just stop hurting. To stop letting your mind race and wander, where you can let go, to where you can be still and see that light at the end of the tunnel. Isaiah 58:9a says, "Then shalt thou call, and the LORD shall answer; thou shalt cry, and he shall say, Here I am..."

The chorus of the song I linked above says:

When you feel like you're alone in your sadness
It seems like no one else in this whole world cares
And you want to get away from the madness
You just call My name and I'll be there
You just call My name and I'll be there.

Sometimes, I find myself praying for the very same thing that I am asking God to deliver me from. I don't mean to harp on my divorce but yesterday and today, I had/have to see my husband. He now lives in another state and the first time he left a few weeks ago to move there, I knew that I had to finally sit myself down and tell myself that all of the stupid holding on and wishing and hoping was just the desparate actions of a weak hearted and weak minded person. I've known since he left that he would be in town this week and I've dreaded it. I know that when he leaves today, he will truly be gone forever. The hopes and dreams of the last 4.5 years. Gone.

My heart has been so confused. It wants him to hold me and reassure me and tell me that this has all been some kind of nightmare. I pray for it. I pray that God will bring him back. That God will show him. But in the same breath, I am praying that God will unbreak my heart. That he will deliver me from the pain, hurt, anger, resentment and borderline hatred for man and in my case, the other woman. I struggle with saying "Lord I know that if it is your will you will show me your way." But what happens if God says "okay, I'm bringing your husband back." Can I really be with a man that told me "I never loved you" or that emotionally had an affair with another woman for an entire month before he actually left our home in hopes of living a new life with her? I wrote a few weeks ago about how I Want A Heart That Forgives, I want an unconfused heart. I want to let go. I want to forgive. I want to not hurt. I want to not weep for things of the past. I want to not feel broken into a thousand pieces.

I am a work in progress. We all struggle. We all stand in awe when we see someone with the light of Jesus in them when we just aren't quite feeling together. I have to give myself pep talks sometimes every moment of every day. Next time you are feeling down, tell yourself this. God would not suffer his people to be tempted, if his grace were not sufficient, not only to save them from harm, but to make them gainers by it. This temptation, the working of envy and discontent, is very painful. But my God reigns. He is an awesome God. I might have to say this to myself 10 times a day to remember that this won't go on forever.

I'm going to stray away from my beloved King James Bible and share a few passages from the New International Version of the Bible. 2 Corinthians 4:7-12: 7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18: 16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I found this paragraph below written in a few places on the internet. I have no actual idea whose original words they are so I will not credit anyone with them. But know that they aren't mine (just in case).

Let God's truth refocus your eyes today on the treasure that dwells within you. This treasure can fill the emptiest of vessels; after all, a jar is designed to hold something. That treasure is God himself, living within us, bringing his abundant life. In our own humanity we have no sense of wealth or worth, no value in this jar of clay. We are simply an empty jar. But when this humanity is filled with diety, we receive what we were created to hold, the very life of God. He is our treasure.

www.facebook.com/byhis.grace1

Be STILL

Steven Curtis Chapman "Be Still and Know"

Do you remember when you were little and your Mom or Dad told you to "sit still?" As kids we were always on the go. Moving, talking, playing, just being all over the place. We could never sit still and just listen. These days, kids have DVD players in cars and so many shows and video games and whatever else to keep them "still".

As adults, what do we have to keep up still? And even when we are still, are our minds still? I know that my mind races a thousand miles a minute. From the time I wake up until the time I go to sleep, I am thinking about what time it is, to when I will get to work, what I have to do at work that day, what is happening after work, what bills need to be paid, how the house needs to be cleaned or laundry needs to be done, how empty my house feels, etc, etc. Psalm 46:10 says "Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth."

God commands a spiritual calm in spite of the shaking mountains and waters. As we all know, a spiritual calm does not come from a lack of trials and tribulations, we find it when we become steady, and we reflect on the ways God has intervened in our lives.

Just a few short months ago when my world crumbled around me, I flinched. My faith flinched. Now, I am trying to stand still — not because of the self-made confidence that everyone seems to think I have, not because I am so strong in the face of disaster, and not because I have always been able to get up and brush myself off and keep going, but because of what I know about God. Romans 15:4 says "For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope."

Exodus 14:13a says "And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will shew to you today..." Know that he is God!

Light At The End of The Tunnel

Third Day "Tunnel"

Somedays, I throw my hands up in the air and say "I give up", "How did I get here?" I'm tired of trying to make sense of things. I feel like I'm stuck in a cruel game of pinball, constantly being slapped around by little flippers that someone else is controlling. Heartache is never easy. Divorce is hurtful and forces us to look at everything is a different way. The loneliness that follows is God's way, first, of drawing us closer to him, then forcing us to reach out to other people. Proverbs 3:4-5: "4 So shalt thou find favour and good understanding in the sight of God and man. 5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."

When we are hurting, we feel the need to pour our heart out. The burden of being so disappointed becomes too hard to bear. Too many disapointments == discouragement = despair. God doesn’t want this for us. In his grace, God asks us to take our heartaches to him. John 14:27 says "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid."

Have a conversation with God. Feel his presence. He will reassure you. God is living amongst us through the Holy Spirit. STOP with the bad appraisal of youself and replace it with God's, which he expresses with love, forgiveness, and acceptance. God listens. He'd rather have us empty our heart to him than keep that bitterness inside. He is not offended by our discontent. Take a look at the cross. That's how important we are to him.

Psalm 84:11-12: 11 For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. 12 O Lord of Heaven's Armies, what joy for those who trust in you.

Let Go and Let God

Dewayne Woods "Let Go"

"I couldn't seem to fall asleep
There was so much on my mind
Searching for that peace
But the peace I could not find
So then I knealed down to pray
Praying help me please
Then He said you don't have to cry
Cause I'll supply all your needs."

I can't tell you how many times in a day I say to myself "Let Go and Let God." More often than not, I am counting to 10 or backwards to 0 to calm myself down, while taking deep breaths and saying "Let Go and Let God." Yesterday, I followed it up with "hey Devil, you're not getting me today."

Philippians 4:6-7: 6 Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

This verse just includes it all doesn't it? Do not worry about ANYTHING. Bring everything to the Lord in prayer. Your broken hearts, your bills, your health, your job, your family, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. Trust in him and be and confident in him then LET GO and LET GOD.

Many of us pray and pray and pray to God for a variety of things. And then we sit back and still worry about what we prayed about. "Oh when will this pain go away?" "Will I Have enough money to pay my bills this month?" "What if?" What? What? What? You can't pray to God and then just not believe that he will do what he says he will do. Don’t be anxious about anything! LET GO AND LET GOD!

I've heard people say, "When you get to the end of your rope then tie a knot in it and hang on." But this is not what we should do. We can't keep hanging on. We mus let go and let God have his way in our life. When we turn to the Lord and allow Him to minister to us, to show us His grace and to comfort us in the time of trials, then we can see that He is working all things out for our good and for His glory.

Matthew 11:28 says "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." When we let go and and let God have His way our pain and suffering will begin to be healed.

Recently, I feel like I've had a black cloud following me around. In December, my Mother-In-Law was diagnosed with breast cancer, one of my dogs got hurt, my husband left me and shattered my world and I ended 2010 crying on a daily basis and trying to find the strength to just understand WHY? The months that followed have been just one thing after another. I was diagnosed with a very early stage of Cervical Cancer, I wrecked my car, my best friend lost her baby, my car got towed and on and on and on.

I will tell you that the trials have brought me closer to myself and closer to God. I do not understand them AT ALL, but I've been asking myself this question, 'What does the Bible say about that'?" And I'm finding that the Bible has the answer to all my troubles, trials, tribulations, and testings. It has the all the answers I need. God is working everything out according to His will for my life. THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS WITH GOD!

We do not know what the future holds but God knows what will come to pass and He knows the way through the wilderness. Psalm 30:2-8 says: 2 LORD my God, I cried unto thee, and thou hast healed me. 3 LORD, thou hast brought up my soul from the grave: thou hast kept me alive, that I should not go down to the pit. 4 Sing unto the LORD, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness. 5 For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. 6 And in my prosperity I said, I shall never be moved. I SHALL NOT BE MOVED.

God does not allow trials in our life to see what we would do, but so we can see what we will do during that test. I'm still struggling and I still have doubts and concerns and I still have trouble really letting go and letting God but I am working on it. I'm turning to God in my trials so that I will know God's grace and it will be sufficient for any trial or trouble that I am going through.

Let go and trust Him today.

By His Grace

Hallelujah by Heather Williams

Did you know that Grace is mentioned in the Bible 170 times? 170 TIMES.

God told Paul, "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

We need the grace of God. You might be saying well, yes, of course we do. We need it first of all for salvation. Without the grace of God, we cannot have eternal life. However, we also need the grace of God for our daily walk with God. We are weak and prone to stray. We might not see it, especially when we are weak but God provides daily strength through His grace working in us.

Recently, I've been hurt. Broken down and at a place where I stood and questioned everything. Myself, my faith, my friends, and others that claim to walk with the Lord. I'm learning that I am being challenged in this struggle.

The Bible says in Luke 6:27-36: 27 But I say unto you which hear, Love our enemies, do good to them which hate you, 28 Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. 29 And unto him that smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also. 30 Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again. 31 And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise. 32 For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them. 33 And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same. 34 And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again. 35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil. 36 Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful.

Easier said that done right? I mean, when someone hurts us, we know that the Bible says to turn the other cheek, when others wrong you, in a way they have been wronged themselves by others, and they destroy your world in the process, it's hard to just say "oh okay, keep it coming." BUT, this is a way of life that will give you dignity, even when people above you beat you down. The arrogant ones above you will see radical, generous grace arise from the bottom. And when they see your love, they will be faced with a crisis. To return your love. Or, to continue to take advantage of you.

Remember, these few things, the next time you decide to treat others unlike you want them to treat you.

Your comfort comes at the cost of another person’s discomfort.
Your wealth comes from the hard work of those below you.
Your cheap goods come from those who have been paid unjust wages.

I Am Worthy

Beautiful by Mercy Me

After my post earlier today, I had a 45 minute conversation on the phone with my Mom (HI MOM) about condemnation.

From time to time I hear "you need to do something to get yourself back “right” with God." Sometimes it's from others and sometimes it's from me.

These nasty little lies cause you (and I) to feel self condemnation for not being “good enough” to maintain our intimacy with God. It keeps us from feeling like a good Christian. We are constantly analyzing our actions to make sure we are not “backsliding" and to make sure we are still moving closer to God instead of away from Him.

Romans 8:38-39: 38 For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, 39 Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Identifying with Christ is an item of faith for Christians. I Corinthians 1:30: But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption.

By God's doing we are in Christ. We might not understand, but we need to accept this as a declaration by God. When we feel self-condemned, or condemned by others, depressed, uneasy, like we are not "good enough” we must reassure ourselves of the FACTS.

Romans 8:1: There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

Trust the facts, Trust GOD.

What Do You Know?

My Paper Heart by Francesca Battistelli

This might be a touchy post. But it's one that I feel that I shuold write. This is a blog about thoughts and opinions and my walk with the Lord. I call it like I see it.

From time to time, we come across people who we feel just don't know what it's like to be us. When I say us, I mean those of us that walked away from our faith a time or two and are now trying to get back to it. It's almost like hearing someone say "I don't want to go to that counselor because they have never experienced what I have so what do they know?"

I won't lie here, I do look at people that have lived a life of faith all ALL of their lives and think, "what do you know?" I mean, I've been married and divorced more than once. I've danced with the devil. I've traveled. I spent time in the military. I've seen death and despair. I've experienced life. Does that make me better or worse than someone else, no it doesn't. But to those that have never really left all that they have ever known to experience life outside of their faith and have always just "known" God and his graces, I think "what do you know?"

I mean sure, you can tell me about all of his grace and his blessings and why you think I should follow the Lord and you can even show me scriptures and tell me stories, but really "what do you know?" Do you know what it's like to not believe? Do you know what it's like to live without his grace? Are you more Christ like than I am because I stumbled?

These are true questions and concerns for many Christians who have stumbled along the way and find themselves faced with people who have never truly fallen down in their walk with Christ. The judgemental self righteous attitudes tend to push people away. It's hard to be told that you are wrong for having a glass of wine or going to a bar to watch a football game or watch movies or listen to music that might not be "Christianlike". Be cautious with those that are unsure.

Be on fire for Christ but don't burn others by making them stand too close to the flame before they are ready.

Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer. Romans 12:12

Today, My Heart Hurts

"That's What Faith Can Do" Kutless

To quote a few lyrics from the song linked above:

"Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining."

Psalm 34:18: The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

Today, I said goodbye to my husband. Even though we have been separated for a few months, him moving back to Florida and leaving where we had a life together, was a little hard to swallow. I have been dreading this day for as long as I've known about it. As I drove away and left him standing on the front steps of my house, I broke down and cried. Cried for what once was, I cried for the love lost, I cried for the friendship lost, I cried for the crushed hopes and dreams of a forever together. I cried. Today, my heart hurts.

Today, at 7:20 this morning, my best friend delivered her still born baby with the umbilical cord wrapped around its neck. On Monday, we found out that the baby had died. But since she was 18 1/2 weeks pregnant, she had to deliver. I am 3 1/2 hours away and will be driving to see her this evening after I leave work. Today, my heart hurts.

Psalm 34:18: The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

I don't have anything profound to say or share today. For today, my heart hurts. Sure there are stories in the Bible about overcoming hurt and pain and weakness but I can't find one that really makes me want to say "this one, this one right here, this is it." So, I am going to share a few scriptures. I'm a big fan of the KJV of the Bible. I like to read the scripture the way that it was first taught to me. The following remind me that, "That's what faith can do" just like the song says.

• Matthew 17:20: And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

• Psalm 27:14: Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

• Luke 18:27: And he said, The things which are impossible with men are possible with God.

• Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

• Proverbs 3:5-6: Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

• Deuteronomy 31:6: Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.

• Matthew 5:4: Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

• Philippians 4:19: But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

• Isaiah 40:31: But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

• Matthew 11:28-30: 28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

REMEMBER:

"Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes and make a new beginning
Anyone can feel the ache
You think it’s more than you can take
But you're stronger, stronger than you know
Don’t you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining."

I Want A Heart That Forgives

Kevin LeVar - "A Heart That Forgives"

Just a few lyrics from the song linked above:

I want a heart that forgives
A heart full of love
One with compassion just like Yours above
One that overcomes evil with goodness and love
Like it never happened, never holding a grudge
I want a heart that forgives that lives and lets live
One that keeps loving over and over again
One that men can’t offend
Because Your Word is within
One that loves without price, like You Lord Jesus Christ
I want a heart that loves everybody....even my enemies
I want to love like You, be like You, just like You did
I want a heart that forgives.

DEEP BREATH. Wiping the tears. I know that there are readers who are in different places in there life and in their relationship with the Lord. Most of us DO NOT know how to just FORGIVE. We don't know how to lay down our burdens on the altar and just say "I forgive."

For the most part forgiveness does not start right away. The not-wanting-to-forgive is keeping us from moving on, and having a closer relationship with God. But we cannot lie to ourselves. Or to God. We cannot say "I forgive or I give it all to you" when we really don't mean it.

Excerpts from Women Who Run With Wolves by Clarissas Pinkola Estes. From the chapter Marking Territory: The Boundaries of Rage and Forgiveness Four Stages of Forgiveness

1. to forego---to leave it alone
2. to forebear---to abstain from punishing
3. to forget---to aver from memory, to refuse to dwell
4. to forgive---to abandon the debt

To forego: To take a break from thinking about the person or the event for a while. It is not leaving something undone, but rather more like taking a vacation from it. This prevents us from being exhausted, allows us to strengthen in other ways, to have other happiness in our lives.
To forebear: This builds focus toward the time when one goes to the next steps. It does not mean to go blind or dead and lose self-protective vigilance. It means to give a bit of grace to the situation and see how that assists.

To forget: To let go, to loosen one's hold, particularly on memory. To forget does not mean to make yourself brain dead. Conscious forgetting means letting go of the event, to not insist it stay in the foreground, but rather allow it to be relegated to the background. To move off stage.
We practice conscious forgetting by refusing to summon up fiery materials, we refuse to recollect. It means not to haul up certain materials and turn them over rand over again. Conscious forgetting means willfully dropping the practice of obsessing, intentionally outdistancing and losing sight of it. This kind of forgetting does not erase memory, it lays the emotion surrounding the memory to rest.

To Forgive: There are many ways and portions to forgiving a person, a community, a nation for an offense. It is important to remember that a "final" forgiveness is not surrendor. It is a conscious decision to cease to harbor resentment, which includes forgiving a debt and giving up one's resolve to retaliate. You are the one that decides when to forgive and what ritual to use to mark the event. You decide what debt you will now say needs not be paid further.

Some choose blanket pardon: releasing a person from any restitituion now or ever. Others choose to call a halt to redress in process, abandoning the debt, saying whatever is done is done, and the payback is now enough. Another kind of pardon is to release a person without his having made any emotional or other sort of restititution.

Forgiveness is the culmination of all foregoing, forebearing and forgetting. It does not mean giving up ones' protection, but one's coldness. Forgiveness is an act of creation.

Luke 17:3-4 (King James Version) 3 Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him; and if he repent, forgive him. 4 And if he trespass against thee seven times in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him.

I want a heart that forgives. How about you?

On My Knees

Today's video/song is one of my all time favorites. It truly has been a storm of trials and tribulations these last few months. I've found myself on my knees quite a few times.

Yesterday proved to be quite a challenging day. It was my birthday. And it didn't feel like much of one. My heart hurts. Seems yesterday was a day for weeping. I sat at my desk weeping. I wept all the way home from work and then once I was sitting on my couch, I wept some more. I listened to the the song I posted yesterday and let the Lord just hold me.

I almost made quite a few poor choices yesterday. The good news is that I took the opportunity to choose wisely and consulted the Lord first and begin with the end in mind. This moment of decision making got me to thinking about the story of Abraham and Lot from the old testament.

What do Lot, the thief on the cross, and a thief on the news have in common? They're all people? Who knows? Who cares? Those may be a few of your answers.

Well, let's check. At first glance, it may seem that this trio has nothing in common. But if you really think about it, you'll find that they all have something in common: the thread of consequences. You're probably like, "AND? The point is?" Well, the point is, you'll find that same thread in your own life.

Here's the moral of this story. I'm going to give it to you right here at the beginning. Pay very careful attention to it though, because this simple lesson could save you a lifetime of heartache. The lesson is:
You are free to choose what decisions you will make, but you are not free to choose the consequences that come with those choices. Think back to the Old Testament story of Abraham and Lot. You will read in Genesis 13 that Abraham and Lot were traveling together. They weren't traveling alone either. They had their families, servants, every little thing they owned, and a whole bunch of livestock. When they finally found a good stopping point, they discovered the land was not big enough "for the two of them", their families, animals, & possessions. So while they're looking at these two pieces of land, Abraham told Lot to choose which one he'd like to have. Abraham didn't want to fight or argue and was okay with taking the plot of land Lot didn't choose.

So Lot really looked over his choices. All he could see was the physical beauty of the Jordan Valley, which contained the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. Without much thought, Lot quickly selected that land as his home. His troubles began right away. God felt compelled to take drastic action to wipe them from the earth completely. Lot and his wife had to run for their lives (literally).

Lot's wife, in her final act of disobedience, looked back to the sinful city (that she had grown so accustomed to) and was turned into a pillar of salt. Lot's choice to live in that land had certainly come with a price.

So what does all that mean to you? What does that Old Testament Bible story have to say about your life and the way you choose to live it? Was Lot really such a bad guy? Was he any worse than any of us? Those are all good questions, and there really aren't all that many easy answers.
In 2 Peter 2:7, Scripture describes Lot as righteous. Yet Lot had a knack for making poor choices. As a result, he suffered terrible consequences. He lost his daughters, his home, and even his wife. These losses were a direct result of his poor choices.

So can we choose our consequences? In a roundabout way, yes, we can! We choose them by the dozens of other choices we make each day. The Bible is full of stories of people who did things the right way and experienced positive consequences. Abraham, Noah, Joseph, Daniel, Ruth, and Rahab are just a few. The Bible is also filled with those who did not make wise choices and suffered terrible consequences as a result. It's great to know God will forgive us when we fail, but it's better to get His help first and make the wise choice from the start.

Words for the heart.

Lamentations 3:19-26
19 I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall.
20 I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. 21 Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: 22 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 24 I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” 25 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; 26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

This Is What It's Like

On Friday night, I went to dinner with some great friends (Hi Teresa and Vera). When I arrived at Teresa's apartment, the song that was playing is the one that I linked above. Held by Natalie Grant. I've been singing since I was a little kid. I can remember singing in church, at camp meetings, on the side of the road by the Salvation Army for street meetings, and pretty much anywhere I could. Lately, I have been feeling a strong pull to find a praise and worship team to join and get back to sharing my gift of God with others. In the meantime, I will share my love of music and the songs I find that express how I feel.

I went to church yesterday morning. Yes, it was the first time I've have been in a few weeks. I was letting life get in the way of my attendance. I struggled with rushing home and getting ready and making it to the service on time, and each time I told myself, "you are going to be late", I kept hearing "better late than not at all". One of the first songs that the praise and worship team sang had the exact words that I posted about on Friday. MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR MY POWER IS PERFECT IN WEAKNESS. Well then. I hear you God.

Today is my birthday. I am 37 years young. By this time, birthdays aren't quite the celebrations that they used to be. 37 is just an age. Not really a milestone. Just another year older. These days, life tends to be less about days and more about about dates and their significance or lack thereof.

This morning, I was thinking a little bit about the date of December 6th, 2010. That date isn't significant to any of you , but it is to me. December 6th is the day that my friend and ex Mother-In-Law told me that she had Breast Cancer. Moments later, sitting in a restaurant/bar at a bartop table for poker night, in the very restaurant that I met my husband at, playing poker, I would hear a few more words that would stop my life as I knew it. All I could think was "is this some kind of joke?" No. No, it wasn't. It's no secret to those that know me that these last few months since that date have been a struggle for me. Somedays I feel like December 6th is a lifetime ago. Other days, I feel like it was just yesterday. And I find myself sitting at that table, hearing those words all over again. Nahum 1:7 says "The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that in him." I've been in the Lord's strong hold for a few months now.

Yesterday at church, I felt his right hand. I felt him holding me. I felt him telling me that he was holding me. And for me to just let him hold me. To just be in his presence. ‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10.

In the words of Natalie Grant as she sings the song linked above.

This is what it means to be held
How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive
This is what it is to be loved and to know
That the promise was that when everything fell
We'd be held
This hand is bitterness
We want to taste it and
Let the hatred numb our sorrows
The wise hand opens slowly
To lilies of the valley and tomorrow
This is what it means to be held

When was the last time you let God hold you? Do you remember what it's like to be held?

Mercy, Mercy, Mercy

When you were a kid, do you remember playing with your brother or sister or friend and they grabbed your hand and twisted it and said "SAY MERCY"? Well, somedays I feel like that.

When your heart is heavy and you are stuggling through emotional times, it doesn't take much to knock you to your knees or to bring you to tears. I've been doing my best to remember, that when I am down on my knees that I should just pray. And keep praying until I pray myself back to my feet. And keep praying while I'm standing, so that they next time something comes along that knocks me to my knees, it will NOT take my desire and ability to get back up right along with it.

I've been an iPhone user for quite some time. And a few months ago, I discovered the YouVersion App. What a great invention. You can subscribe to reading plans from the Bible. Right now, I am subscribed to a daily Life Application Study, a 7-day plan for anger and hatred and 7-day plan about attitude. Yesterday, I received a virtual badge for competing the grief plan. Outside of the plans, I've been reading scriptures about weakness, mercy and grace, I came across a passage that has always been a friend to me. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

"So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR MY POWER IS PERFECT IN WEAKNESS.
MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR MY POWER IS PERFECT IN WEAKNESS.
MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR MY POWER IS PERFECT IN WEAKNESS.

I feel like a child writing sentences on the blackboard at school. If I write it enough, I will believe it. And if I write it enough, I will not do whatever it was that got me to this point right now.

FOR HE SAID "MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR MY POWER IS PERFECT IN WEAKNESS."

In the Bible you read how David was scoffed at, mocked, insulted, humiliated, and made the object of gossip. But he still prayed. He was completely beaten down and he did not turn from God.

Have you turned from God? Have you given up and quit trusting him? I know that I have from time to time. But I am learning that no matter how hopeless my situation seems, or how bad things become that I must continue to pray. God will hear my prayers and he will resuce me. When we are rejected by others. We need God the most. Why is is that we always seems to turn from our most faithful friend?

The song that I linked today is Blessing by Laura Story from 2004. My what powerful lyrics. Here is the end of the song.

‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise.

FOR HE SAID "MY GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU, FOR MY POWER IS PERFECT IN WEAKNESS."

Love In His Right Hand

Psalm 147:3 "He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds."

Right after my husband left in late December, a good friend of mine made me a few CDs. Songs of joy, prayers, love, devotionals and a few others.

The song linked above was on one of the CDs. To say that I have listened to this song a couple hundreds times might be an understatement. He sings these words, "And brokenhearted, do you want your healing? Oh trust again there is love in his right hand."

I've stated before, that I am finding it hard to find my place with God. All too often people (I include myself in the "people") don't pray unless they feel like they NEED something. "Dear God, please let me get that job." "Dear God, please let me win the lottery." We have to learn to seek GOD all the time. Not just when we are down and out. Not just when we feel like IF I JUST PRAY, I WILL GET WHAT I WANT.

I prayed for days, weeks, months, and even years that God would show me a way to be more faithful to him. To find a relationship with him. To stop being concerned about the ways of the world and just trust in my relationship with him. I wavered back and forth and took when he gave but never gave anything in return. I didn't read my Bible or go to church or lead any kind of Christian lifestyle. I didn't give thanks for the blessings that I did have. Sure, I would stop and say a little prayer for someone when they asked. Or pray tiny, as I like to say. Just tiny "hey God, can you help this person?" That's just simply not good enough.

When I met my husband, I knew that he grew up in a Christian home. I knew that he knew the teachings and had lived a life for the Lord at one time as well. I wanted to go to church with him. I asked him to go to church. I wanted US to go to church. But he always said NO. I struggled when I read 1 Peter 3:1 (NIV) "Wives, follow the lead of your husbands. Suppose some of them don't believe God's word. Then let them be won to Christ without words by seeing how their wives behave." I should have gone to church. Would he have followed? Even if he didn't, what would that have meant? Would it have changed anything?

It's a daily struggle to understand the end of my marriage. Not just how it ended but why. And what I do with that from this point forward. The following scripture is what I recite each day. Philippians 4:7. "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." I know that I will not be brokenhearted forever. Right now it surely feels that way. I am picking up the pieces and gently laying them in the hands of the Lord for him to repair. There is a sign on my heart that reads, "Work in Progress, Heart Under Repair."

At the end of each day, I know that he loves me just because.

To further quote lyrics from the song linked:

He is proud of who you are
and he has faith in who you’ll become.

He’s not like us.
He loves you just because.

And brokenhearted,
do you want your healing?
Oh trust again there is love in his right hand.

Who Has An Attitude? Raise Your Hand.

It has been said that attitude is everything. You are not always in control of what happens to you, but you are always in control of how you respond. Your attitude is the only thing that you get to control 100% of the time.

Each day I have to wake up and "put my attitude in check". I could easily let my hurt and despair make me a mean and hurtful person, and some days it does, but I try not to let this happen. I pray for a peace that passes understanding. For the ability to forgive and let go of the bitter hurt in my heart so that it does not consume me.

The Bible uses the word MIND to describe your attitude more often than it uses the actual word attitude. However, what you think about leads to actions and those actions lead to habits. Your habits develop your character and your character develops yours future. It all starts with your attitude and your mind.

In essence, your attitude is your inward disposition toward other things, such as people or circumstances. As in with an airplane, attitude is applied whenever you must deal with something other than yourself. According to God’s word, when you become a Christian, a part of your new creation is the development of new attitudes. Your attitude should become like that of Jesus. The Bible says, "Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:" (Philippians 2:5). "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off the old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds." (Ephesians 4:22 NIV)

Most of us can easily identify bad attitudes when they are displayed outwardly in our words or actions, such a negativeness, criticalness, rebellion, defiance, impatience, uncooperative, apathy, discouragement, independence, presumption, arrogance, self-centeredness, rudeness and such like. These are examples of bad attitudes which Christians should reject. However, keep in mind, attitudes are inner dispositions of the heart and thoughts, they are the hidden intentions which will eventually serve as the basis for our actions. "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he." (Prov. 23:7). In reality, no one else really knows the thoughts of your heart, except you and God.

Consequently, attitude is something that only you and God can work out a change, which must take place inwardly.

Which Level Are You On?

James 1: 19-21 says:

"19 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you."

Lately, it seems that I have been full of anger. The end of 2010 proved to be quite the test for me. The beginning of 2011 has been just following suit. I'm heartbroken and angry. I am a work in progress. AND, I have been away from my faith for quite some time and am finding it very difficult to find myself comfortable in the presence of God again.

There is a line in a song that says "sometimes life has a way of knocking down that you can't even pray for yourself." I surely know that feeling. I don't know what to say anymore. I don't want to pray for something so hard and then find myself angry when it's not in Gods plan. YES, I know that is just the way it is and there’s a sense sometimes in modern Christianity that true faith means always waiting patiently for God to act. Phrases like “Let go and let God” and “God will provide” are offered as mantras to chant when times are tough.

In my search and desire to find a way, I've been learning more about the two levels of faith, level 1, waiting patiently for God to Move and level 2, taking bold initiative. When we’re facing a situation that’s completely outside of our control, we should give level 1 a shot. Then when the situation presents an open door or an appropriate opportunity to act, go for level2. You do not have to do one without the other. Sometimes you need to go for level two and let level one work through it.

Level 1 involves believing that Christ will bring about a solution apart from any effort on our end. "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised" (Acts 1:4).

The biggest problem with level 1 is that we are taught to take personal responsibility in our faith. We find so many impressive pictures in the Bible of individuals who, without any divine revelation or special prompting, took bold steps to reach a personal goal: Naomi and Ruth moving from Moab to Bethlehem, Nehemiah courageously organizing the Israelites to rebuild Jerusalem, Paul knocking on many doors to find opportunities to preach–in his own words, "Yea, so have I strived to preach the gospel, not where Christ was named, lest I should build upon another man's foundation"
(Romans 15:20).

In reality, there can be just as much faith involved in taking personal initiative as there is in waiting passively for the Lord to provide. While Ruth would have been commended for staying in Moab and waiting for God to heal the heartbreak, greater faith was shown in her going to Bethlehem. She placed herself in a vulnerable position where she had to trust the Lord to protect her, to open doors and to make her venture successful.

We all want to jump forward and take personal initiative. I mean really, who has patience these days to wait? Even if it is for God's grace? Yes, I know, GASP, how could I? But honestly, so many of us want the right now. Society has taught us that we can have anything now, at the touch of a button. But God works at his pace. It might not be today, tomorrow or next year, but he will answer your prayers. Even if by answering them, he leaves them unanswered. But we all must be very careful that just because something we pray for happens, doesn't mean that God had anything to do with it. It is that our understanding of which steps of faith we should take that should grow out of a regular time alone with Christ, where we carefully think through the direction of our life and what God wants us to do. We should all consider a step of faith only if we can pursue it without frenzy, within the time and energy limits the Lord has given us, and without jeopardizing other commitments we have already made.

If no meaningful long-term vision emerges, wait for it, give it a fair opportunity to develop. The dreaming process takes time, and we must patiently persist with it like everything else. It’s to this end that Scripture tells us to seek God’s insight as we would hunt for hidden treasure (Prov 2:1-6 NIV).

1 My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, 2 turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, 3 and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, 4 and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, 5 then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. 6 For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. 7 He holds victory in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, 8 for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.

Which level are you on?